thank you everyone, and thank you billieJ that was some good advice. i believe i have social anxiety. not only do i have low self esteem i find it hard to think of something to say when i am around people. i never used to be like that i dont know what has become of me! but i can tell that people i know don't even want to be around me, because im so quiet and nervous. but thats prob why i avoid people all together so that this doesn't happen... it is so sad that i would rather be alone than with people just because i am afraid of them judging me for who i am. im a good person i just have a lot going on within myself with my emotional issues and trying to get better all the time, i really dont know how to interact anymore..