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I posted something similar in Depression Forum. But I thought I’d post here too.
I have had bipolar I and have been in treatment for 25 years—since I was 17. My longest stint in the hospital was 3 years.
I’ve never had anywhere near a “normal” life. No career, no spouse, no healthy relationships, very, very little friends, no kids, very little money earned (from sporadic part-time jobs), been on disability since I was 18.
Anyway, what I want to say is that I had a nightmare that I was contemplating all of this and I felt such sorrow and grief that I began to sob, to wail uncontrollably. And then I started choking. I woke up sobbing and gasping for air.
The reason I am posting this, is because I was wondering if anyone can relate to the grief and loss of being mentally ill and missing out on such fundamental life experiences.
I feel sad that I have missed out on so much and feel sad when I realize that I never will have those things.
I was just wondering if others feel this grief.
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I love your faults because they are part of you and I love you. --my BFF
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