(((((Tree)))) I think it is a very postive step that you reached out to H and to your friend. How did they react? I think that is important, too. Personally, I did not have a good experience telling a close friend about the csa, the only friend I told (at that time, I have another friend I shared it with), but I understand very well now (I processed that with dt) why and am not terribly upset about it anymore. But your husband can be a very comforting source of support. He loves you, he lives with you and shares your life with you. I wonder what other people will say? For me, its unfortunate, but you have to be careful who you disclose what to when it comes to the deeper, traumatic childhood stuff.

It is SO incredibly difficult to go through this trauma work and it takes a long time to process. I spoke with ftt on the phone today (IM not going to hijack your thread!) but she reassured me how long and painful the process can be and not to place too much pressure on myself to be exactly as I was before this processing began. I feel strong feelings. And fear and anger and sadness.

I KNOW, dear Tree, that you feel exposed, you are releasing your secrets. You are doing it.....this is it. I dont see any mistakes. Reach out here, we are all here to listen and love you