I guess I don't feel like I give off the impression that I allow that kind of behavior. Especially because when he acts like that I just get up and leave. I fight back definitely. I never just sit back and take it. But I notice that when I see him with his mother. If his mom says no to something he wants, eventually she WILL give in and let him do whatever he wants. I imagine it has always been like that. So I feel like maybe she brought him up thinking that he can say/do whatever he wants with women.

But I don't want to say it like that because he is not a womanizer. Doesn't cheat or anything. He helps me cook, he does the dishes, does laundry. So he isn't disrespectful in that sense. He just sometimes becomes overpowered with control almost.

99% of the time, he realizes that he is overreacting. I give him a minute to cool down and he apologizes and everything is fine. He even went to the doc and got meds because he said the stress of writing his thesis was driving him insane and it has gotten a lot better. He doesn't over react nearly as much.

But it seems like that one time he does he goes overboard. I feel like he's just really aggressive and defensive in general and that comes out when he feels threatened. And I don't know how to handle it so that he gets the point. I feel that he genuinely does not like acting that way.

He told me that when he acts like that its like hes blacking out. He doesn't even realize what hes doing or saying. And I can relate because that's how I was before I started on Lexapro. I would just go overboard without thinking.

I don't want to get out of the relationship. But I don't know how to get my point across. I feel like if I give in and forgive him that it wont sink in how serious I am about it. He has gone to counseling with me and has agreed to go to more but the student center counseling takes forever to assign couples to someone so we haven't had another appointment yet.

I want to believe that he wants to change. He hates it when his dad acts like that but then he does it. I just have to hope that he sees it in himself and doesn't like it about himself because I know me nagging wont do anything but cause resentment. I really would like to work it out though.