Hi again,

So much for easing back.... He asked to see me yesterday - I had the seperation papers that he needs to sign etc and was just going to leave them at the house when I knew he was going to be there - but he asked me to drop them by yesterday.

We talked like it was al normal I explained where he should sign etc... Then of course it always goes back to relationship questions.

He said that he should have tried harder to save what we had, doesn't know if it would have made a diffreence but that he should have tried. I asked if he thought that his 'love' for Lisa was was just that he was trying so hard to love me... He said 'honestly, I just don't know'...I said I was confused by that and he said 'so am I'...

Ended the conversation out by my car.. he gave me a long hug and a kiss on the cheek and we just talked about other stuff for a bit...

YEP got me all confused again... So I feel crappy.

He's sleeping with someone else.. why can't I get that through my head??????
He doesn't want me no matter what words come out of his mouth....

I've been on the Lexapro for 4 days now and it's making me feel really ill... doctor told me it would for the first week - not to mention that each day I seem to be shedding weight (I was a healthy 51kgs before all of this, now down to 44.5kgs) I eat and it just makes me feel sicker but I know that I have too....