I am not upset at all Pink... I certainly can't speak for everyone else. And to clarify again what my point is....

Pink had expressed that she and the others in her group felt uncomfortable with the new nurse leading the group. She had said she was honest with her (which I absolutely applaud) by telling her she seems so fragile and went on to say she felt like the nurse should be stronger. My reply was that the group assimilation may go smoother if she and the others chose ways to get their point across without putting the other person on the defensive. Of course she's not in any way responsible for how this nurse feels or thinks. But I'm sure everyone here can understand that if someone comes up to you and says "you're too young" or "you aren't strong enough" it would immediately put you on the defensive and al meaningful conversation would halt. I don't care how the nurse feels but for Pink's sake, more can be worked through if they are mutually respectful and that can be accomplished simply with the words we choose in situations. SO instead of those previous examples, maybe the conversation could have started with, "hi new nurse. We have been working in this group for a while so I think it's probably natural for us to have nerves about you joining the group as the leader. Change is difficult for me (if it is) and you're so much different than the last leader. What can I do to help me adjust fater to the change......." I mean you could finish with anything. Essentially you are saying the same thing with both statements but one is using a "YOU" statement, which tends to put people on the defensive, and the other is using a more global approach and doesn't seem to be pointing fingers. I'm not telling pink to feel responsible for how her comments affect the nurse, I'm just saying for Pink's sake, to move on in the group and get the most out of it, it's best to proceed diplomatically. Pink is choosing her words to benefit her.

Sorry for the long post, just trying to clarify.... much easier to speak this out rather than type. I'm not trying to offend anyone, just trying to add my perspective since I have it from the side of the nurse and the side of the patient. Sorry all for the confusion.