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I have been raised by alcoholics. My father is a chronic alcoholic, my step mother is a chronic alcoholic and my biological mother and all of her various partners are alcoholics and drug addicts.
I love all three of my parents very much however I feel a lot of resentment of how I was raised. There was a lot of cruelty, a lot of anger and frusteration, very little communication. I felt like I was more a bother growing up than a positive and loved part of their lives. I know my parents love me however it has always been seldom shown.
I find myself pulling further and further away from my parents as I grow older. I stray away from their habbits because I know what not to do with my family because of them which is valuable information however I feel that they should have known better. Afterall they did not have the upbringing where they were raised by addicts like them. Because they never experienced it they still to this day cannot understand my feelings and I do not try to explain because that is a battle I feel I will lose.
I have made peace with the fact that they made a choice to live however they chose and there is little I can do to change it. My relationship with them has been severly tainted. I would like to find a way where I can still have my family without letting my feelings getting in the way. I would really like to find a happy medium and be more forgiving rather than just accepting. I have accepted their choices however I struggle with forgiving them for the mistakes I feel they made and will not account for.
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