Yesterdays Christmas party was a crap, I was at home before midnight and in bed an hour and a half later. I'm glad I found someone to bring me home. I slept for almost 12 hours and woke up happy I guess, the weather is perfect and I thought I should go for a walk. It is a day when I planned to do my Christmas shopping and I was happy about that. No-one attacked my little Internet game village while I was asleep. I even thought of calling my dad just to have some nice little chat about nothing in particular.
But then
I got this knowing that being happy is not ok. Everything will end up in a bad and depressing way anyway, and if I let myself be happy it will just end up worse compared to if I didn't.
So here I am, staring at PC, drinking my morning coffee and just about to cry for no apparent reason. The weather got crappy too. I don't want to go the mall. If I had a car I probably would go right away, but now I have to take the bus and it sucks. I don't want to take a bus.