It is complex...a lot of maybe's. And what if's.

It sounds like you are wondering if others will view you negatively, like you view yourself when you are thinking about the CSA. What if you tell them and they react like you do? What if they don't? That can intensify the internal experience, and can feel like something is about to happen, something is impending.

I am mad FOR you. And I hear you. And I still see you as the wonderful caring person you are and always have been.