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Elysium · Dec 12, 2009, 06:07 PM

So, do you love him because he was there and sort of rescued you while you were going through something traumatic...?

Or...do you love him for who he really is?

Do you love him for his laugh, his smile, the way he reaches out for you at night while you're sleeping? Do you love seeing his smile?

Do you love him/respect him for his morals and values? Is he someone who you feel you can rely on to shoulder the load and catch you if you fall, and be there to help keep your family going in time of need?

What do you love about him?

I've known many people who have "fallen in love" with someone because that person was "there for them" during a crisis. I hate to say it, but most of the time it turned out that that person who "rescued" them was only taking advantage of their weaknesses and the fact that they were vulnerable at the time.

What does your husband get out of your relationship? So far, he gets a life where he does not have to earn a living or support a family. He gets to live in a house that is paid for by someone else. He understands that the people paying for this house know he is out of work and are still paying his rent for him...so therefor, why should he get a job? He has a wife that is always there for what he needs when he needs it and all he has to do is give the least amount of himself possible to keep her satisfied.

So, I'd say he gets more than his fair share. I'd say he's taking advantage of you. I'm not saying he isn't a nice person, or that he doesn't have his positive qualities, but it sounds like he's found a good thing in your relationship and is feeling a little too comfortable.

It is obvious that you are not content in your relationship sweety or you would not be posting these questions.

Things to think about.....

Who would Manda be without this man in her life? What would it look like for Manda to stand on her own. Is the biggest fear/reason not to rock the boat because you are afraid to be alone? Because you feel like you need him? Because you feel like you will be lost without someone in your life? These aren't necessarily the most wisest reasons to stay in a relationship.

Now....if you were to say that you didn't want to be apart from him because he is reliable...he is your rock...he brings you up as opposed to pulling you down, he is a positive force in your life and he offers his strength and love to you to help you get through. If you were to tell me that you love him for who he is and not for the fact that he was the one that was there....

It's nice that he was there for you during your traumatic time. But is he there for you now? When he won't work, won't help support the family....when he treats you so cold....Is he there for you?

When you were going through your difficult time....that could have been any other man that helped you through. If it would have been a different man....instead of your husband....would you still love your husband and be as loyal to him?

Just posing some difficult questions for you to think on. You don't have to answer them here. What's important is that you can answer them within yourself.

I am always here for you!!