Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueMoon6
I think Jexa is right, as long as it feels right to you and it sounds like it does. It looks healthy, to be adventurous and do some of the things that made you were afraid of before, even if it is somewhat of a distraction. It sounds like a distraction that might make you feel more empowered and less fearful.
The truck (and tatoo) thing, and I have had thoughts like that while driving, is maybe something different that healthy risk-taking. Im thinking of when I have felt those thoughts- rage, impulsiveness, hopelessness, even a form of SI.
I agree with Jexa that there are so many changes for you right now. You have escaped from a horrible situation and maybe there is even a lull, there is always some kind of drama going on, but maybe there is room for healthy exploration and unhealthy exploration. To find a peaceful middle ground. Im saying that because I find myself doing that kind of thing, looking in all places for a healthy "outlet". If that makes any sense.
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Wow, Blue, thank you for your insight....It makes great sense. I didn't think of separating the two. The healthy distractions do help me feel empowered and are much needed...Perhaps the more of that I do, the more I will find ME and maybe the less miserable I will be.
But then more unhealthy distractions could be different....a way of dealing with the anger and pain....and I need to get a better handle on that before I do something I will regret. I have been feeling the urge to SI during these times as well...
I guess I am dealing with so much rage and anger and need to find better ways of expressing it. I know that means working through the underlying issues in T....but I am too afraid to open up. UGH!!!!