dpst said: It really is awful to go through upheavals like this.... ya never know with some people, but you never said how long you had known this person before you decided to room together, nor did you mention if you moved into her trailer or was this a mutal decision???

I had known this girl since we were 13 or 14. We are 27 now. Her sister and one of my cousins are best friends too, so she seemed the "safest" person to room with. We moved into the trailer together-prior to that, we stayed with her parents for 10 months while we looked for a place of our own.

Hopefully you've learned that no matter how great a friendship you have and for how long, it is always wise to get everything down ON PAPER, in writing, before taking a step where your living space could be vulnerable..... I don't care if you were best buds for 10 years, they aren't a friend if they can't understand the need to get all the details ironed out before you sign on the dotted line for anything like a lease, a car, a loan.

The trailer was a month to month agreement with the landlord and there wasn't any paperwork really to sign. When I agreed to let the boyfriend move in, I put down some ground rules and asked if they would sit down with me so we'd iron out the details. Then they were never home for us to actually do this.

and I understand the trauma has left you shakey, but they are 3 1/2 hours away, not likely to stalk you.... try taking a meditation class or learn deep breathing techniques to help with the stress...and just chalk it all up to a life experience you had to learn, nothing is lost if you learn from a mistake and you really have to stop replaying the old tapes running in your head..... It's over, it's in the past, now you have to live one day at a time, do healthy things that will get you started on the right path again.... the hardest thing in the world sometimes is letting go, just deciding that from this moment on, it's a new ball game.... I wish you much good luck and keep your eyes peeled for roommate wanted signs on campuses, in supermarkets and on the church bulletin boards...sometimes the best roommate will turn out to be a total stranger, because you both enter into it with no warm fuzzy emotions to block reality. It will be more a set in stone contract that will protect both of you and set firm rules right from the get go.

It's easier to say that I'll just leave the situation behind and forget about them. I still have connections up there, my boyfriend and one of my coworkers who I was close to. Eventually I'll want to go up there to visit, it would be nice if those visits wouldn't be so nerve racking.

When I move out again, I will probably try it solo. The thought of rooming with a stranger creeps me out.