Navygrrl: I totally get that.

Yep. Me too. It was ConfusionCraze's initial emphasis on the split between good/bad that initially drew my attention because this is something I have observed in my own child and frequently been baffled, confused and certainly, hurt, by it too.

The hurt part is what feeds into my own shadow -- then, they act out and I act out in return. Later, I regret having gotten angry and wonder if I was too harsh; I question if I should have been more loving and forgiving. This is the critical thing to remember -- we all have a shadow side to our psyche and to be overcome by it is the equivalent of a "possession" state. Perhaps we can also become possessed by our ego/persona state as well, wherein we attempt to present ourselves as pristine, perfect, good, kind, unconditionally loving and compassionate, etc. much like Jekyll.

Meantime, my own introduction to the Jungian model was via my own experience of psychosis so this influences and affects how I attempt to interpret the behaviors and experiences associated with bipolar disorder as well. Here's the standard model I frequently drag into the Schizophrenia and Psychosis discussion area...




Something I am becoming aware of as I see more of these behaviors/episodes is that bipolar disorder seems to lie closer to the surface of the psyche, calling into play predominantly the persona/ego (our sense of self-identity) and the shadow (the parts of our psyche we'd prefer to deny or disown). Psychosis on the other hand (which can be part of the bipolar experience too) seems to penetrate deeper into the psyche -- ideally, as far as the anima/animus and the Self. It may also go beyond the personal unconscious into the collective unconscious.

Here's something else I've noticed (lifted from my own notes)...

If you didn't know my child has a diagnosis of bipolar disorder, you might mistake them for a narcissist in their manic episodes because they are so fixated on the "positive" aspects of their own self-identity. These positive aspects certainly are present -- they are attractive, interesting, talented and intelligent -- but they can end up inflating these positive traits to an extreme. This suggests to me that there is a compensatory action at work that is associated with their ego (sense of self-identity).

In reflecting on my own child's life experience I also find it telling that they began to experience difficulties when attempting to transition from high school (a setting in which they were enormously popular and received a lot of positive ego strokes) to the adult world of work and relationship; a setting in which they did not feel positive and confident. They also soon discovered that the adult world did not care how many talent contests they had won or how attractive they were and this was a further blow to their sense of stable self-identity. It's also worth noting that they have very high personal standards -- they do want to be "the best" in what they choose to do and can be very harsh on themselves if they fail to live up to their self-imposed standard. I'm not implying the same is true of all people with bipolar disorder for I can only speak of my own experience with it. What's relayed here are my own attempts to understand what it's all about in respect to my own child and therefore, how I can best help them work with it in a productive manner. In our case, that includes making use of meds as a tool but also psychology as a tool.

See also: Ego: The False Center