I think I want both. I was trying to express how I currently feel about meds, and that I want support to take them until I get through this episode. I didn't want more fear and blackmail.

It makes me feel like if I make a mistake in any other way that he will leave me. I don't work right now, I don't get SSDI (in the application process) and I would have nowhere to go if he left. I would lose the house and the kids and quite frankly, any reason to continue to exist. What if I plain old forget to take meds? What if I break a dish? What if I scratch a wood floor? What if I get angry and throw something? What if one of the kids falls down and gets hurt because I was feeling sick and couldn't watch when they were playing? What if I am not perfect?

He'll leave? How is that supportive?

I am not angry at you, Mick. It might sound like it from this post.... I am just way triggered by my husband right now......