I hope things start getting better for you. Sometimes people use things like alcohol and drugs to try and escape their problems, or their negative emotions that they don't want to feel. I would also advise you to seek some professional help or a support group if it is available.

Or, another thing you could do is go to www.psychologicalselfhelp.org and read some of the sections/chapters that have to do with how you are feeling. Maybe this online source can help you to learn about different ways to cope and you can try a variety of them.

Hang in there. Take baby steps, make a small goal of something you want to accomplish and work towards it little by little. Take things one day at a time. This is helpful for me.