This is exactly what will happen, I think. When we're not used to feeling anger and we let it in a crack in the door, it has a tendency to rip the door from the hinges at first! But in time you will be able to open and shut the door when you want.

For me, I find the anger often is rooted in the irritability aspect of my ptsd. A lot of times I'll be fine until at some point in the day I get triggered, and then I am more raw--sensitive and irritable. If a couple of more things pile onto me--BAM, I am furious. It feels less out of control than it once was, though.

You are so clearly a caring mom, please know that this will even out. Also that what feels like monstrous scary anger may not be so to people outside of us. I find when I feel like I roared like a lion, other people think I was a meowing cat. Small comfort, for how awful it feels!