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Dec 14, 2009, 10:04 AM
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Member Since: Apr 2009
Location: London, UK
Posts: 30
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Thank you, thank you for taking the time to read this.
@Rohag,
I did try. I make lists with what I can do, or lists with what I have to do. I write stuff down in order of importance.
Maybe it's not the best idea to sort things out, but it seemed to help at one point in time. Until I started ignoring my lists and wallowing in self-pity. I've been told all my life that I'm a useless waste of space (in more words, of course) and although I try to ignore it and tell myself it's not true, my brain doesn't feel like that. So when it comes to me doing things, even tiny little things, there's this voice in my head going all 'you can't do anything anyway, so why bother with this?'.
@perpetuallysad,
I've had four therapists. I quit them sooner rather than later, because I feel that if I speak my mind people will think I'm clinically insane. Yeah, I know, I'm more than likely paranoid. But I guess I didn't find that right therapist yet, to whom I could talk to about anything and everything that's bothering me. So we usually talk about the surface things and I never get to the bottom problems, because I run away.
Well, to be honest, that's what I do best. Run away from my problems. In circles sometimes, which leads me to making the same mistake twice. See, now that deserves a slap or something.
 <---- this is how I imagine my brain. It's very noisy and tiring.
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