To answer why it ended, I'm sure there is a multitude of reasons. But the main reason is because I started talking to this guy. She was very upset about it, which led to constant fighting. She was extremely jealous about him & I talking. She told him (as well as some other friends, my family, her family etc) how I am bipolar. Which is untrue, but I think she said it to drive him away and put all the blame on me for our problems. As I watch her do that, it's hard to close my eyes and not say a single word. Unlike her, I take responsibility for my flaws and things I've done wrong. I know it was wrong of me to hide from her that I was going out at night after she would leave. I did it as to not hurt her feelings and avoid confrontation.

"I've overcome a lot of things but the biggest is myself; people blame others - they blame the world, the problems and changes start with ourselves."

We share a mutual friend (whom we both talk to), and its hard to hear some of the things she's said to her and other people. But somehow I manage to grit my teeth and fight the urge to say something. Beyond reasons known to me, I still find myself defending her, justifying her actions and taking the blame. Once in awhile she'll come up in a conversation, like if its something her and I did, or something she liked, I'll simply mention her and I used to do that all time or whatever the case may be. Other than that, I refrain of speaking about her (as I mentioned its disrespectful).

Other than that, times are tough as of right now. I've got a lot on my mind, so I'm putting my pen to the paper. I used to write poetry all the time to express how I'm feeling. I've been working on a piece for a few days now. I'll post it here I suppose once I'm finished.

One last quote:

Never forget yesterday,
But always live for today
Cause you never know what tomorrow can bring
Or what it can take away