Maybe you need a different t? Would you work better with someone else? It seems like the two of you have some things that might make therapy harder? Or it could just be that you are afraid to talk about the CSA and that is making you want to back out of therapy all together.

BTW, you sound like you think a lot like I do...always going in circles with everything. And I anticipate what I THINK other people are going to think or do in relation to what I think or do.