yes, i too have severe trust issues with people and do find it difficult to connect, i will usually always wait for someone else to contact me first, then i know i am being sought out and not rejected right from the get-go. These sites are difficult too..... how much can you really know about anyone. yes, people have been here for years, so they do develop attachments, I hear people actually meet and alot of phone calls are made daily. Yeah, someday I might get a cell phone, or be able to afford one, but now that severely limits me from getting to know anyone on a truly deeper basis here....sometimes a voice is needed, and I cannot avail myself of that...

what is strange here is you can't really discuss what happened to you, what was done to you or what your reality is... because it can be erased, so even if I say that going thru that experience here is so disturbing, so destructive at least to me personally, it could be erased again because .... just because..... and then why am I here? what I say, think, am, was, what i experience and think cannot be safely shared here because someone else has power to deem it "too raw" or too "triggering" or critical or not of any worth? Don't I already feel worthless enough? Am I not the most pathetic person on this planet? coming here for what? someone to listen because I have no one, not one human being on this planet who thinks I have worth to listen to?

Yet what I say here has no worth, because it can be expunged for any reason at all...... haven't we all been subject to critcism from society, from even our so called loved ones who just can't understand why we are so damaged? And to come here to be in effect quieted and keep the reality of mental health hidden, obscured, when all my life no one would listen?? How ironic?

Okay, here we are, this little corner of the cyber world is for you, but someone will judge if you have the right to say what you need to say. boggles my mind, how nutty is that? us nut cases caught in a further web of nuts too hard to crack, to impossible to open up to???

and round and round goes the merry go round of trying to make mental illness more understood, more acceptable, more informed.... and the information isn't getting out...and the merry go round just goes round and round and round and round...... and those of us who need to hear each other, be here for eachother, are kept from that elusive brass ring of commonality, sharing and healing together because what we experienced or needed to tell wasn't deemed "right" or allowable is to offer sanctuary in a cave where keeping the truth of what we are and what happened to us must remain in the dark and hidden...... and the merry go round of mental health acceptance, understanding and information just goes round and round and round....with eventually?????????? no body on it.