Woke up this morning and for the first time i didn't think of him... how's that for progress I thought.... until later in the day when everything turned black again... but up there in a grey sort of area now...

Still haven't gotten the papers from him GRRRRRR... He's moving on Friday (packing his stuff on Thursday I assume as he has both days off I'm told).. I'm the one that told him to be out by then so why does it hurt that he's actually going... who knows..

The anit-depressants seems to be working at keepng my moods a bit more consistent... and have shrink appt tomorrow afternoon..

Talked with a friend today.. he's been through this before and his new GF is a shrink (didn't meet in a session tho LOL)... What she thinks is that mark is in denial... that he's using Lisa much like I am using the anti-depressants... until it al goes sour he wont realise what he's done or have any REAL regrets.. I want him to hurt.. sounds horrible but I want him to feel my pain!

I came to the conclusion today that I don't want him back not now and not ever... First time I think I've had that thought and meant it (99.9% anyway )

They say that he will want me back when it all fizzles out with her.. but really who knows.. My future doesn't include him anymore not even as a friend I don't think.

It's only been 3 days since I stopped communication with him - feels like a life time!

Thanks for listening..reading what ever ...

Any additional insight would be appreciated!