good job for being able to reach out on here. What you wrote, reaching out to this online community, shows that you are able to reach out to others for help and support when you need it. You just need to be able to find the strength to do that in your everyday life. Do things just for you...for the sole purpose of taking care of yourself, not others. Taking care of you might be the most important thing right now, and you need to listen to yourself. I trust that in time, you will be able to ask for what you need.