Thank you AuburnSunshine! I usually try to write when I feel I'm in one of "those moods".

More Thoughts:

Yesterday and today have been extremely horrible to say the least. I was 20 minutes late for my last critique yesterday due to printing issues. Today was no better! I was 15 minutes late for my other classes final critique, trying to find the FedEx location that had my book that I needed for class! Luckily, my Mom was able to bring it to my classroom (and she stayed for an hour or so to watch my presentation..Which was really nice). After class, I had to go to my moms to wait for the heater people to come...So I just sat in her room until she got back. On her dresser was a large stack of papers about Bipolar and Schizophrenia and on the back was the handwritting of a former friend of a list of "diseases I have". Which consisted of Bipolar, Schizophrenia, Major Depression, Anxiety (panic attacks) and OCD.

I am completely and utterly distraught about it. Major depression and panic attacks and possibly OCD are problems I have, but I don't suffer from bipolar or Schizophrenia. I'm upset that she is telling my mom (and printing this crap out), trying to convince her that "this is whats wrong with me". I know the symptoms of both diseases as I have thoroughly researched them years ago. As for bipolar- I am not "extremely happy or very irritable", I don't have high self-esteem, I don't feel rested after 3 hours of sleep, I dont talk more than usual (I hardly talk at all), I'm not more active, I'm not 'easily distracted', I don't do 'reckless things' or drive recklessly. I am simply depressed...That's all!

It drives me crazy that she is convinced I have these problems while she tries to convince everyone else of it too. She attributes everything I say/don't say, do/don't do to this alleged illness(s) I have. I don't work because I'm lazy and I buy stuff because I'm careless. I could work because I only go to community college, its not that hard. This: according to her words. I'm a full-time student who is depressed, just trying to get through life. My Family is VERY dependent on me to do daily tasks and I simply do not have time to work and maintain a decent GPA. I'm averaging a 3.4 right now and can't afford to let that tank if I want to go to a 4 year art school! (Very long drawn out story that I'm not going to divulge right now).

Everything just seems so miserable right now when it shouldn't be. I don't know what to do with myself anymore. It just really urks me about the things that have been said. I tried to explain before that I don't have all these problems, but of course; everyone believes whatever they want. Funny how they (family & friends) think I have all these problems, yet no one gives a *poop* to ask me how I'm actually feeling at any given time. Fabulous--Just fabulous! (Sorry for rambling!)