Told my T last night about my dream. He just laughed and said how great that was. Said that it's very healthy to want to hurt the ppl who hurt you so bad. He told me to keep beating him up in my dreams and to beat up any of the other ones who hurt me as well in my dreams. Says it's a great way to deal with the anger we have towards them. Don't think I could ever be strong enough in person to do stand up to the abusers. But I can have a field day in my head doing it. Have so much anger right now for my abusers. T has tried really hard to express my anger while in T, but I can't verbally express it right now, or even physically. It's seems like the anger is swelling up inside so much right now. I can feel it wanting to explode out. I've been in such a mean mood towards everyone I'm around. I'm trying not to say anything to bad to ppl I Love. So if I say anything mean to anyone here, I'm sorry, not meaning it right now.
Monty