Anger is very scary to me.

Anger = Hate.

It used to surface in the form of self-abuse.

It still does but not in violent ways, more like lack of self-care.

Lately it has surfaced in the form of tears.

I can't do the abuser-chair either. For the same reason.
Maybe if I get over the self-hate someday, I'll be able to express my anger towards those who deserve it.

But some are dead now.
And those that are left... I don't know how to handle.

(((( Bendy-green-gal ))))