Hello, cantstopcrying. At the outset, you need to stop telling yourself you are stupid. Nothing worthwhile comes from self-deprecation. Nothing.

Who is using you as a verbal punching bag, and why are you listening?

When was the last time you exercised? How about volunteering? Helping others is a good way to help people and feel better about yourself. Also, you will not be alone.

Breathe!

Good luck.