In personal relationships. I know I say or do the wrong things because people get upset--angry--that I'm not responding how I "should"---in their view, I know. I just want to stop. I'll give you the for instance about yesterday/today.
Boyfriend KNOWS I hate it when he comes home smelling like beer. To me, "buzzed driving is drunk driving." Not even that, but when you are working till 3 a.m. and come home smelling like beer, I don't think it's out of line to ask why. Ask. Not harp. Not yell. Not nag. Ask. That started the tirade of "I don't have to report to you," blah blah blah. Which started my tirade of "Yes you do if you are in a relationship with me and you know this is an issue with me and don't yell at me and don't swear at me," blah blah blah. I know. Why do I stay with him. It isn't all the time and the good times are good. God, I hear myself and I would shake myself if I were someone else. "You don't need that. You don't need him. You are better than that," blah blah blah. I know it all. But I feel stupid for even saying anything. It wasn't the right time--he was tired, he was pissed, I should have just waited. I never wait. I can't wait. If I wait I will be abandoned...but look, here I am sitting alone on my second day off crying anyways. And I just want him to talk to me and he won't so I keep pushing (begging) even though I know it doesn't help, it just pisses him off but I want my feelings acknowledged and I just want it over...not the relationship, the stupidity. I'm rambling. See, stupid.