I can totally relate to this. Over the past few weeks several colleagues have told me that I seem very down, and have lost my "spark", and dont seem interested in things. They see this is a very unsual for me as I always try and be a bubbly and happy as possible. HOwever, I havent had 1 day where I have felt happy since I have been working there (nearly 2 years). I feel exhausted with all the pretence that everything is ok, when it is soo not. When they told me (indivually) i felt so overcome with emotion that I just wanted to tell them how things really are. Not because I think they care enough to want to know, but because the pressure of being happy everyday is just getting too much.

As far as advice goes, I dont really have any im afraid. I have gone into myself somewhat since these comments, and I cannot summond the effort to pretend as much I have been doing. I suppose talking to T or someone close to you might help? (I dont have anyone else apart from T). I really feel from you and am going through the exact same thing at the moment. I hope things get better for you