Going back to Peg's topic, I can understand many folks who grieve when someone leaves but I can also see how a person can feel bad when someone leaves if they had the need to save them (because they need to feel needed). I can see this as a boundary issue where one person's needs are entwined in what another person does. If a person can see this and untangle themselves from what another person chooses to do this could stop some grief...........

I purposefully have good boundaries here and focus on not allowing my stuff to get tangled up with anyone else's stuff. When boundaries get enmeshed it does hurt the other person too because they feel this boundary violation and to them it feels like the other person is trying to control them. It can make their issue that they are struggling with seem even messier if someone else gets too involved in their issue.