I'm sitting here and getting drunk and just made 4 new cuts on legs that are already so bad, it's pathetic.........and my thought as I bleed - good job...

This past week has been very bad for me. I miss the communication with my T and then I feel awful because the poor man is sick and that, of course, comes ahead of my whining.

I just want to call him, tell him about my drinking and cutting.....but can't and won't. I know all of you are here for me and I appreciate that so very much. I just need HIM - and I hate that feeling. I was trying not to cut by drinking and doing half-way well, until tonight.

I'm sick of hearing the question about whether I am alone here in this room and why does it take so long to answer the phone, blah, blah, blah. It's not just him, it's my feelings about everything.

Oh geez, I moved the napkins (which are covered in it) and counted.......not 4, but 9. [sigh]

Going home stresses me out.....my back worries me. That injection has only caused more pain there, and has done nothing for my leg.

I don't see my T till Nov. 5th.......it's too far away.