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Skip xmas. That's what my husband and I do pretty much. We don't have any decorations or family visits, etc. We go out to eat, go out to the movies, stock up on special food we like/make a nice dinner on the holiday. Also go for walks with our dogs, go for car rides, watch special TV programs, whatever.
Your father seems to be a big trigger for you. Try to ignore him as much as possible. Don't expect ANYTHING from him. Take care of yourself, live in the present, do what makes you feel better. It sounds like you are in a toxic relationship with your father. The more distance, physically and/or emotionally you can put between the two of you, the better you will feel.
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