Berries,

You are not alone. Tonight I feel alone with you. I too have suffered most of my life with metal illness and in the last years physical illness.

I read some of the thread and I used to feel at least some of the time that without the tears I would not have had the laughter. (Kahlil Gibran)

Not anymore. I have also grieved for that little girl, that young woman that I never was. I cried uncontrollably a few years ago just as you described. At the time or shortly after I found it liberating. I needed to grieve for that person I felt so sorry for, she was not me though.

Again at the time it enabled me to move on. I hope you have the same experience.

lilly