The thoughhts really suck. I get those too. Quite often actually, and I take meds regularly and religiously to counteract them. I am trying to just ignore them and remind myself when they come up that they are no reflection of me as a person, they are only a reflection of my illness of OCD. My psychiatrist said that obsessive thoughts are never about things we would do, only things that we would never do, because that is what is so distressing. He said, people don't get obsessive thoughts about brushing their teeth and staying on their diets! So I send you well wishes and lots of hugs

Know that they are not real and that you are not alone in this. We are good people, we just have a mental illness called OCD.