Hello don'tknow,
Thank you so much. I've been working on this and things have not been going well at all. I've lost my patience a few times and have been very nasty towards her because of this. The guilt I feel is unbearable, and I just want to apologize but I feel nothing I do is good enough.
Being in the role of caregiver/caretaker or supporter to someone with bipolar disorder can be immensely challenging. I can be impartial in your situation because I'm not the one who's in it, but when I'm in the midst of attempting to work things out with my own child, my emotions can certainly become far more involved. It can help to brush up on your communication skills and to call frequent time-outs to any discussion if you find your own emotions are building. In some cases it may also be helpful to communicate by writing because it allows a little more time for reflective thought in composing your words and in responding to the words of another.
Meantime, I noted above that how we respond to someone may depend very much on which state they are in. Here's some basic descriptors, can you identify which phase your girlfriend is currently going through?
Quote:
During a manic phase, symptoms include:- heightened sense of self-importance
- exaggerated positive outlook
- significantly decreased need for sleep
- poor appetite and weight loss
- racing speech, flight of ideas, impulsiveness
- ideas that move quickly from one subject to the next
- poor concentration, easy distractibility
- increased activity level
- excessive involvement in pleasurable activities
- poor financial choices, rash spending sprees
- excessive irritability, aggressive behavior
During a depressed phase, symptoms include:- feelings of sadness or hopelessness
- loss of interest in pleasurable or usual activities
- difficulty sleeping; early-morning awakening
- loss of energy and constant lethargy
- sense of guilt or low self-esteem
- difficulty concentrating
- negative thoughts about the future
- weight gain or weight loss
- talk of suicide or death
Source: Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder
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Remember that the list of symptoms may not correlate specifically to your girlfriend's experiences. For example, when my own child is entering a manic phase the increased energy they experience can often be seen in a mass flurry of intentions. For example, they will want to start several new projects or suddenly decide on a chosen career, only to come up with five alternate careers they would like to explore all within fifteen minutes of emphatically stating they have found their life purpose. In addition, some people experience a mixed episode which includes both mania and depression. If you're not sure what phase your girlfriend might be in, I suggest you share with us what you're seeing and we might be able to recognize the phase.
Meantime I agree it would be helpful to get in contact with some professionals. Often a starting point can be a family doctor or a therapist. Note, your girlfriend might be more open to going to therapy if the initial focus is on you and her, i.e. you may be able to find a local therapist who can help the two of you learn to communicate more effectively about this and other relatioship difficulties who is also knowledgeable about bipolar disorder.