I was raised roman catholic so sex and maturbation was not good. I also was taken advantage of while I was drunk.

There have been some very good responses so far. Have you discussed this with your doctor? That's good that you got a book and a kit to help yourself. In relation to the comment above and BTW I was also raised Roman Catholic too. Did you know that fetus's touch their private parts in the womb. Masturbation and self discovery is a natural healthy part of sexual developement for all people - including children. This is your body and you have a right to feel pleasure, whether by yourself or with your partner.

Have you had fulfilling sex without this problem before? I'm trying to rule out physical reasons. There was a similar question in the Q&A section. Make sure you use adequate lubrication and do deep breathing exercises. Start getting comfortable with your own body and comfortable with the idea that you having the right to pleasurable sexual experience. I agree with Rhapsody, that you should see a therapist if you can't handle this on your own. I also heard that botox is a treatment for this. Best of luck and try not to feel anxious about this since it will make things worse.