Hey Darlin,
I'm sitting here feeling just awful for what you're going through, cause I am there as well. I totally understand your not wanting to interrupt your therapist, but as you've told me, if it's that dire maybe you should at least email him. But no matter what you've got me & everyone here behind you. At this moment I imagine we are both in a similar state, I just am heavily medicated as opposed to drunk (though I have been leaning towards that more and more because I have so much alcohol stored up in my room for some reason) and I have not yet cut tonight, though i imagine that as soon as I get offline that's where tonight is headed. Nov. 5th is a LONNNNGGGG time away, cause SO much can happen in almost two weeks. Just know that if there's anything i can do for you ( though I know the internet has its limitations) I'm here. I find myself craving my T all the time too, i suppose because it's the only person who really has some indication of who I am. I even have staged conversations with her all the time in some attempt to recreate the lack of communication i suffer outside or my sessions. Just hang in there, and like you said, just don't jump overboard. Take care, and remember that you're not alone (eventhough I know that is truly hard to believe). I heart you : )

-------Kelly-------