If you cannot come up with a rational, valuable, meaningful reason that you spend your holidays with your relatives other than because they simply share a blood line with you, spend them doing something that makes you happy.

I recently read here on PC an article talking about how some of the ancient healing arts involve altruism and it is a true, proven poltice for the soul. Fly to California to be with your friends and include a stint in a soup kitchen or a homeless shelter, for example, or any other form of giving to those less fortunate than yourself as part of your new holiday tradition. I would bet it will prove to be something very meaningful.