You know, I was having this conversation sortof with my psychiatrist today. Moaning about how I *know* better being stuck in the same problems as before. And yet, here I am back again.

I think I've learned a lot more since the last time I tried to fix this specific problem. So I know it's less likely to bring me down to the same level emotionally, and I'll hopefully spend less time trying to deal with it this time around.

It's the old saying of "Two steps forward, one step back" or getting back up after we've fallen down - you can always try, try again!

I can't really help myself. I know rationally what I should be doing to fix my problems. Emotionally though, it's a different story. And then there's the "putting the lessons into practice" and constantly correcting my behaviour or thoughts or whatever when I'm falling back into old patterns.

Old patterns of behaviour are addictive, being stuck in a rut because it's a lot more familiar than a new path is a pretty normal experience for one to have. I'm scared to change, but I'm scared of NOT changing too.

It's hard.