Thanks Michah for your kind reply. I'll try to answer your questions.

1. My wife has been in therapy of some sort for at least 20 years - she's 45. Plus she takes her meds.

2. True I have to think about myself, and I am, because none of the therapy or meds have helped her.....her borderline behaviors remain the same.

3. Strangely my wife also after dealing with years of borderline has recently been diagnosed with Aspergers. However, since she hated the stigma related to BPD, she is all too happy to say that she never had borderline, and is only autistic.

There is no way that this is the case. I believe she probably has Aspergers, but it would have to be a secondary diagnosis to BPD. She meets all of the DSM V manual criterion in the borderline category, and only 4 or 5 of the symptoms for Aspergers.

She is a high functioning, yet textbook, diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. As you know there are certain symptoms that are very specific BPD and she has them all. So when she tells me she doesn't have borderline anymore, I can't take her seriously, because I know that is not the case. She also has alternate personalities and periods of disassociation and extreme irrational rage, all of which were targeted mainly at me.

4. My children have only had the autistic diagnosis for 1 to 2 years. And they are textbook within their categories. They are both living in institutions and coming home on the weekends to be with their mother. I think that this is where her desire for me to come back lies - she knows I have an absolute gift with children, and mine love me to death. However she is impatient and doesn't do nearly as well with the kids as me. In the past she has taken advantage of this, and disappeared a lot leaving me to tend to the kids an everything else, while she is absent.

5. For my support I've been in therapy, and take my meds religiously. But, I still suffer a great deal of depression due to the seperation. Being away from my children and wife and all has been like tearing my heart bleeding from my chest. Words cannot describe it.

There you have it. Do you think it's possible to have a dual diagnosis of BPD and Aspergers? I do. But my wife was diagnosed repeatedly with BPD over about 22 years time and extensive therapy, and I lived the borderline life with her for 10 years of that, trying to research it, and help her any way that I could--------->there's no way she's not borderline. This is one subject that I'm pretty educated on.......but who knows.