I think for people new to therapy (like myself just a few years back), their only experience of therapy is their own and they haven't read much or even realize there is more than one way to do therapy. They think their way is the only way or the right way. They have learned that certain things are permitted in their therapy or are not permitted and they expect others to follow these "rules" too. With growing experience, more reading and learning, including exposure here on PC to the variety of therapeutic experiences out there, people often become more tolerant.

I remember when I first came on PC, there were people who were very critical of my therapist because he self-discloses. They posted point blank that he is not supposed to do that, that it was selfish of him, that therapy is not supposed to be about him, that it could be harmful to me, blah, blah, blah. They just didn't "get" self-disclosure because their own Ts were from a different orientation and didn't self disclose with them, or they had tried it and personally found it not helpful and therefore thought it could never be helpful for anyone. But they stated it so absolutely, like it is a fact and universal, "your T should not self disclose, it is wrong," that I became really defensive. Back then I didn't know enough about therapy to even understand why my T's self disclosure was so helpful and healing, so I couldn't defend him successfully or articulate why self disclosure could be therapeutic. I have become better (a little!) at not getting defensive and become better at giving posters like this some slack and not reacting personally. If they stay around PC and learn more, and as they read more on their own, they will often come to be able to accept a wider variety of experiences that do not match their own and also in general learn to be more supportive. I think there are many, many people here in this forum who are extremely supportive and they model how to be supportive for those who arrive and may not know how. I have learned a lot since coming here and am still learning from everyone.