I want to come to your house KathyM if you find a horse in side a cup. But I'm hoping you actually find 2 so we can go riding off into the sunset....or something like that. I know that all sounds like complaining, the truth is, I kind of like being home and not working too. I'm my own best company most days and happy when I can get into something I like to do, like some sewing, etc. Mostly I watch TV, cook, clean dishes, my new thing has been to keep the dust off the glass topped coffee table.

Motivation is a huge problem for me as well. I've done a good job with doing dishes for the past few months though. Most days I'm bored and I really hate that. When I have something to do, or somewhere to go, or someone to visit with, I feel as if I have a reason to get up in the morning. Dishes are my priority lately. Being bored is a signal for me to do something, anything, but do something.

Since I've not worked, 18 months and counting, I just sort of exist from day to day. I'm okay as far as my "mood" most days, but have an unfullfilled sense about myself and that makes other things harder to do. I used to work 2 jobs, go to school and have my family - now.................... When I look for work I see jobs like "Sr. Synthetic Radar Analyst, or Siperian Developer wanted...I don't even know what the hell those are. I feel like a dinasauer.

I love something to stimulate my brain so I don't feel so stupid (on bad days)and boring. You know what I mean? It's all a cycle sort of thing. But I do get my dirty dishes and kitchen cleaned up most days!

Need to go do some dusting, I think I have dead bodies upstairs on my end tables.