I'm sorry, my heads really mixed up right now, so I'm just gonna rant and it's probably not gonna make sense...

No matter where I go, my past follows me. I'm always reminded of how f***ed up my life is, by DID, by BPD, by depression and anxiety and all this other s***. When I get home, it's either my mother being emotionally abusive or my dad hating being at home. Now, my brother, who has physically, sexually, and emotionally abused me in the past, is coming home. I'm already stressed to the max. I can't handle this. I just can't. I don't know what to do. I'm already in contact with Social Services and Runaway Services and Domestic Abuse shelters...nothing. I just want a place to go, somewhere SAFE, not stress free (because that doesn't exist) but DEFINITELY not as emotionally unhealthy as home. I only have 7 months left until I graduate and can move out on my own. I'm getting a job VERY soon that pays really well for my age and I'm responsible enough. I just don't know what to do. I've been maintaining this sense of "stability" for so long; my grades are way up, I'm sober, I'm happy...ish... I CAN'T throw it all away. I don't want to die. I don't want to go back to being a druggie. But I don't know how much more I can take! I just...need to get the f*** out of this house.

EDIT: I realize there really is no question here. I guess it was mostly just a chance to rant. Remy wrote this, but I guess if you have any advice or...pity?..a reply would be appreciated