Hi Karen. you came to the right place. we have been through a lot like yourself and share our experiences in the hopes of helping you. have you considered a community mental health clinic, that charges on a sliding scale. contact MHMR in Texas to find out. you really should see a pdoc soon. I know the low feeling of bipolar and it is no fun. you owe it to yourself to be your own advocate and, with our help, begin to recover from something that CAN be treated. I wish you the best.