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Originally Posted by skeksi
It sounds impossible to do, but I have found much relief in not trying to escape the feelings of irritability and rage. They are going to come, you can't stop them (not if you want to heal, anyway). They are a natural part of resolving trauma. What you can do is find ways to manage them.
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Yes! It is so clear to me that these tantrums have picked since we are working on the letter and mother stuff. Its not something I can dismiss.
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"You know what? This is making me really mad right now, so I need to take a break. I'm not mad at you, I'm frustrated with myself." So I would drop whatever we were doing for just a moment and acknowledged how mad I was. Just being able to speak to it (as Thich Nhat Hanh says, "Hello, my little anger!") helped it dissipate much more quickly than trying to control it or stuff it.
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This is good. Hello my little anger. It embraces the feeling and does not try to stuff what is not stuffable.
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And the positive was, I was modeling for my kids how to manage really overwhelming feeling like they experience. It got so they were able to do the same thing when they were mad, instead of lashing out.
You are okay, bluemoon. You are angry and irritable and still entirely okay.
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Id like to be a better model of how to handle being overwhelmed. Thanks, Skeksi.