I am sorry that things are so rough for you right now. I am sorry for the loss of your Uncle. However, his passing has nothing to do with you, you are not responsible. Your Mother is grown - she could have gone home to see family without you, that was her decision. You are not responsible for her decision. Sometimes in the grieving stage when you lose a loved one, the anger stage is really tough. It almost seems easier to focus on being angry with yourself - with the things you know NOW that you did not know before his death - than to move out of the anger stage to accepting he is gone (BUT never forgotten). I am sure your Mom would not want you feeling so guilty about your choice not to go with her. You were being a normal teen - you had things to do before school started again, and no one should fault you for wanting to do those things.

As for the situation with your friends, why not just tell each one that you like them and want to be their friend, but you would prefer not hearing negative things about your other friends from them? You should not have to carry this weight - they are putting you in a horrible situation. You really should speak up for yourself, no one likes being caught in the middle.

If you had reasons to think you might need to talk to a therapist - then I would definitely make an appointment. They will be able to help you understand the grieving process also.

Good luck - and welcome to PC !