Sorry for not replying, I have been trying to deal with this and it seems like when I log on here all of the emotions come flooding back. So I guess I was trying to keep my distance until I felt strong enough to reply. I believe you're correct in your assessment of lack of closure. I am still somewhat confused over why we split up. I want to call her and try to understand it but I fear a few things. First off, I fear she just flat out won't pick up. Secondly I'm worried if she does I'll break my "tough" image and try to convince her to come back with me. Third, I'm scared she'll say something that will just destroy me, like she was cheating on me, or realized what a loser I was, or something. I'm wrestling with my mind over calling her or not. I feel like if I do it may help me avoid whatever happened in the future, but like I said before could have other consequences. If I don't I may avoid an immediate problem, but not have that understanding of what went wrong and it will eat at me forever. I dunno, I've done a lot of thinking and I somewhat believe that I was subconciously turning away from the relationship. Like, she would say something I would agree with, but verbally I would disagree with her. Later on I would think to myself "if you agreed with her, why start a fight over it?". Maybe I ended the relationship subconciously with my actions, there were some things she did that really pissed me off in the recent weeks before our break up. I dunno, hard to wrap my mind around. Thanks for your replies guys, they help.