I got the horses!!!! & the farm....you should see them race through the fields when they are just grazing at times....somehow, they just get the urge to race around & kick up their heels & wonder at times if they won't just go sailing over the fence.

On the little stuff around the house, I know that when I have something coming up or someone coming over to the house.....that's my kick in the rear to get things done....I get what I can done before then & give up on the rest.

As far as long term goals go & motivation for that....I don't know that I would have it in me anymore. I pushed & pushed myself when I was young to get my degree & to excell as a firmware engineer......when I lost that, I lost the ability to look at long term goals with any sort of drive. Guess mentally at that point, I got to the place of retirement. I can deal with daily stuff, but no long term anything. I just can't get myself to go there. Not that at 56, I couldn't start something new, I just don't have the energy, nor the ability to focus at that level anymore....& I don't have the drive to want to go through that amount of effort at this point in my life.

Been there, done that & just don't want to put that kind of effort into anything like that again. Think I will just stick to doing all the repair work around my farm. Having no money to hire anyone....it's a DIY sort of thing since I left my husband....it's more than enough to keep me busy the rest of my life without adding anything else to it.

I started something that I thought I would be able to do....everything ended up distracting me & my lack of focus really showed up.....I now realize that what I am capable of isn't always what I think I am capable of based on past expriences when I had been able to things like that in the past. Sometimes we have to figure out what our NOW is all about & maybe the NOW isn't really what we think it should be which is why we can't get the kick start to happen.

Just more thoughts on the subject.
Debbie