(((((((((((((((((((Blue)))))))))))))))))))))

You've received such great words of advice here. I wonder if you could print any of it that really speaks to you and hang it somewhere? Sometimes I put little reminders somewhere of things that I am worried I will forget in an emotional moment.

Be gentle with you. You are where you are, and you are working to get to a better place. My T has been working so hard lately to make me understand the idea of "good enough". Not in a flippant "oh, it's good enough" kind of way...but in a deep, authentic, truthful, grace-ful kind of way. When I can believe that I am good enough, I can be more gentle with me and with everyone around me.

You made a mistake. And you admitted it, and apologized, and you are working to find ways to do it differently next time. THAT is good enough. That is deserving of grace and forgiveness.

It seems like when things have become unbearably hard in therapy lately, you've ended up having a tantrum. I wonder if it would be good to take a step back and put more coping skills into place before you move back into the trauma work. T and I have had to do that a lot. For ME, if I start losing my temper, losing lots and lots of time, having urges to self-harm, etc. it is a message that I need to slow down. And as much as I have this desire to push forward and just get to the other side, I have learned to listen to that message and to slow down. We need to heal AND we need to be able to be present in our busy lives. There is a balance there. We'll never be able to strike a perfect balance, but we can try to stay near the balanced place. Being near the balanced place is good enough.

I want to give you a big, BIG hug and remind you to be gentle with you.

to you, sweet friend