|
i think i do too
and i think my mum is the one who contributed to my depresion and anger problem..
sometimes she is so crazy that she said she is going to stab my dad.. woah
and yes she will do whatever things to make me feel bad and such... and now i having problem im managing my own depression
__________________
A Shocking News: It seems to me that being a daughter or better a female have no value in the society I'm Living in.
What shocked me on 4 Jan 2010 hurt me so badly that now there will have nothing to stop me from leaving this Earth.
I used to think that I created the story of parents hating me, but it finally confirm on 4 Jan 2010.
I get to know it from the neighbour, he was told by my dad that I am a girl which eventually will marry and leave the home, so whatever things also he wont inherit it to me. (I'm fine with it, but what sadden me was this is how my dad think, and my mum agrees with it)
I hold my tears until i reached home, showed tantrum and slammed the door, and was questioned by my dad. But i can't tell the truth, because i know what he capable of doing.
I cried and cried, praying to god to end my life, or let me straight jackpot, and so i can offically leave this home without them looking down on me.. just because i am a Female, a Daughter, A Sister.
--------------------------------------------
I fear soon i become the abuser myself... I fear of not able to control myself and repeat the footstep of those abusing me I used to think of marriage and have my own family, but now I fear i will abuse my own child.. and choose not to have child... why let them suffer when i know how it feel....
|