I believe and Im certain its probably true that the reasons for people being stuck in a spincycle of whatever mental illness is due to repetition. Like Christina said and many others about having the courage to move on but also that its 1 million percent personal.

Some people are afraid to move away from what they have known for many years, some find the effects overwhelming they just give in and some even try too hard to break out of it and find themselves doubting.

I suffer the last personally, from a family where praise was never given and a thumbs up was something you remember from being 4. I have to admit my parents werent exactly ideal, but neither was our (me and my brothers) lifestyles away from them.
My youngest brother is now emotionally and socially Autistic even though he only had a one year gap in learning due to deafness.

My parents did what most would and cotton wooled him treat him like an autistic person before he was, my next youngest brother is like me but seems more stable he has trouble socialising but seems the best of the three of us. I as the eldest have had feelings of depression, anxiety, emotion supression and a responsibility for everything that has happened in our families life. As children we were always promised we could go to social clubs but never actually allowed and living rural didn't help. The divorce of the parents left myself and the 2nd oldest to deal with a mother who was trying to reclaim her youth at the negligence of our youngest brother. Our dad we can visit but none of us feel we can rely on him, he helps out financially but hes not really emotionally there. The only family member all three of us like is our Aunt but she has her own health issues (ME) so its not fair to go to her for help.

I know exactly what is wrong with me, have an inkling there are some other issues but still can't break out of the rut because I overthink it.

Its hard to know what is wrong, its harder still to admit its wrong and the hardest of all is changing it.

I've tried various things to change from daily planning to minute assessing every action, none of them have worked fully but everyone will find their way of sorting themselves out so I wish everyone who needs it, the best will in helping you through it all.